"My name is Cassie, I am 23 years old. I graduated as a qualified nurse this year and was given my first position as a home nurse.

My patient was an English gentleman in his early 80s who suffered from Alzheimer’s. In the first meeting, the patient was given his record and from it I could see that he was a convert to the religion of Islam, therefore he was a Muslim.

I knew from this that I would need to take into account some modes of treatment that may go against his faith, and therefore try to adapt my care to meet his needs. I brought in some ‘halal’ meat to cook for him and ensured that there was no pork or alcohol in the premises as I did some research which showed that these were forbidden in Islam.

My patient was in a very advanced stage of his condition so a lot of my colleagues could not understand why I was going through so much effort for him. But I understood that a person who commits to a faith deserves that commitment to be respected, even if they are not in a position to understand.

Anyway after a few weeks with my patient I began to notice some patterns of movement.

At first I thought it was some copied motions he’s seen someone doing, but I saw him repeat the movement at particular time; morning, afternoon, evening.

The movements were to raise his hands, bow and then put his head to the ground. I could not understand it. He was also repeating sentences in another language, I couldn’t figure out what language it was as his speech was slurred but I know the same verses were repeated daily.

Also there was something strange, he didnt allow me to feed him with my left hand (I am left-handed).

Somehow I knew this linked to his religion but didn’t know how.

One of my colleagues told me about paltalk as a place for debates and discussions and as I did not know any Muslims except for my patient I thought it would be good to speak to someone live and ask questions. I went on the Islam section and entered the room ‘True Message’.

Here I asked questions regarding the repeated movements and was told that these were the actions of prayer. I did not really believe it until someone posted a link of the Islamic prayer on youtube.

I was shocked.

A man who has lost all memory of his children, of his occupation, and could barely eat and drink was able to remember not only actions of prayer but verses that were in another language.

This was nothing short of incredible and I knew that this man was devout in his faith, which made me want to learn more in order to care for him the best I could.

I came into the paltalk room as often as I could and was given a link to read the translation of the Quran and listen to it.

The chapter of the ‘Bee’ gave me chills and I repeated it several times a day.

I saved a recording of the Quran on my iPod and gave it to my patient to listen to, he was smiling and crying, and in reading the translation I could see why.

I applied what I gained from paltalk to care for my patient but gradually found myself coming to the room to find answers for myself.

I never really took the time to look at my life; I never knew my father, my mother died when I was 3, me and my brother were raised by our grandparents who died 4 years ago, so now its just the two of us.

But despite all this loss, I always thought I was happy, content.

It was only after spending time with my patient that felt like I was missing something. I was missing that sense of peace and tranquility my patient, even through suffering felt.

I wanted that sense of belonging and a part of something that he felt, even with no one around him.

I was given a list of mosques in my area by a lady on paltalk and went down to visit one. I watched the prayer and could not hold back my tears.

I felt drawn to the mosque every day and the imam and his wife would give me books and tapes and welcome any questions I had.

Every question I asked at the mosque and on paltalk was answered with such clarity and depth that could do nothing but accept them.

I have never practiced a faith but always believed that there was a God; I just did not know how to worship Him.

One evening I came on paltalk and one of the speakers on the mic addressed me. He asked me if I have any questions, I said no. He asked if I was happy with the answers I was given, I said yes.

He asked then what was stopping me accepting Islam, I could not answer.

I went to the mosque to watch the dawn prayer. The imam asked me the same question, I could not answer.

I then went to tend to my patient, I was feeding him and as I looked in his eyes I just realized, he was brought to me for a reason and the only thing stopping me from accepting was fear…. not fear in the sense of something bad, but fear of accepting something good, and thinking that I was not worthy like this man.

That afternoon I went to the mosque and asked the imam if I could say my declaration of faith, the Shahadah.

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله (lā ʾilāha ʾillà l-Lāh, Muḥammadun rasūlu l-Lāh)

There is no god except Allah, Muhammad is Allah’s messenger.

He helped me through it and guided me through what I would need to do next.

I cannot explain the feeling I felt when I said it.

It was like someone woke me up from sleep and sees everything more clearly.

The feeling was overwhelming joy, clarity and most of all…. peace.

The first person I told was not my brother but my patient.

I went to him, and before I even opened my mouth he cried and smiled at me.

I broke down in front of him, I owed him so much.

I came home logged on to paltalk and repeated the shahadah for the room.

They all helped me so much and even though I had never seen a single one of them, they felt closer to me than my own brother.

I did eventually call my brother to tell him and although he wasn’t happy, he supported me and said he would be there, I couldn’t ask for any more.

After my first week as a Muslim my patient passed away in his sleep while I was caring for him. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon.

He died a peaceful death and I was the only person with him.

He was like the father I never had and he was my doorway to Islam.

From the day of my Shahadah to this very day and for every day for as long as I live, I will pray that Allah shows mercy on him and grant him every good deed I perform in the tenfold.

I loved him for the sake of Allah and I pray each night to become an atoms weight of the Muslim he was.

Islam is a religion with an open door; it is there for those who want to enter it…. Verily Allah is the Most Merciful, Most Kind. “

* note * Our sister Cassie passed away October 2010 Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon, after she gave da’wa to her brother, who had accepted Islam Alhamdulillah

Banyak ekspresi dan cara mengungkapkan rasa kangen dan rasa bersyukur memiliki.
Tapi hal paling romantis adalah dengan mendoakannya.

Saya salut dengan teman teman saya yang ikhlas menjalani hidupnya meski sulit. Menerima dengan lapang meski sempit.
Sayangnya cuma doa yang saya titipkan lewat ibadah ibadah yang belum sempurna.
Saya cuma bisa diam diam kagum mengamati betapa hati hati kalian bersinar.
Pasti sulit menempa dan membentuknya, cobaan cobaan yang kalian alami dengan sabar meski tertatih, proses penerimaan yang lebih lama.

Saya malu berhadapan dengan kalian kawan. Semoga diberi kesempatan berproses menjadi hati seindah kalian.

Semoga jalan jalan kalian dimudahkan:)

Perkara ini kita lakukan setiap hari. Dan amazing sekali sebenarnya kegiatan ini. Alam ini sedikit berbeda dari biasanya dan sering memberi pelakunya waktu untuk berimajinasi.

Tidur, semuanya juga doyan. Apalagi yang lagi jaga, kompaklah setuju. #sabar ya yang lagi jaga
Dan erat hubungannya dengan dua ibadah yang amazing juga, tahajud dan sholat subuh.

Seandainya kegiatan ini berurutan, alangkah indahnya kalau dimulai dengan niat dan cara yang baik.

Caranya mudah kok, ndak butuh lebih dari 10 menit sebelum memulainya.

1. Tidurlah lebih awal, dan bangun di sepertiga malam terakhir.
Buat apa? Sholat tahajud. Amalan luar biasa, waktu waktu begitu dekatnya untuk mengadu, lapor, curhat, meminta sama Allah.

2. Berwudhu terlebih dahulu.
Tidur dalam keadaan suci. Sekaligus jika allah berkenan menghapus dosa dosa kita.

3. Posisi Kepala berada di utara, kaki di selatan. Menghadap ke kanan.

Menghadap ke kiri akan menekan jantung, dan terlentang akan memberi beban pada punggung.

4. Berdoa. Doa mau tidur, 3 surat alquran terakhir ( al falaq, al ikhlas, an nass) dan ayat qursi.

Semoga tidur kita dijaga allah. Pun jika kita berpulang di saat tudur, semoga dalam keadaan baik.

Selamat malam :)

#boleh revisi kalau ada kelalaian. Karena dibuat saat insomnia, mohon dimaafkan :)

Bahagia Itu Sederhana

3 hari yang lalu
Mendengar istri mengomel di rumah, berarti aku masih punya keluarga.

Mendengar suami masih ngorok di sebelahku berarti aku masih punya suami.

Mendengar ayah dan ibu menegurku dengan tegas berarti aku masih punya orang tua.

Merasa lelah dan pegal linu setiap sore, itu berarti aku mampu bekerja keras.

Membersihkan piring dan gelas kotor setelah menerima tamu di rumah, itu berarti aku punya teman.

Pakaianku terasa agak sempit, itu berarti aku makan cukup.

Mencuci dan menyetrika tumpukan baju, itu berarti aku memiliki pakaian.

Membersihkan halaman rumah, jendela,
memperbaiki talang dan selokan air, itu berarti aku memiliki tempat tinggal.

Mendapatkan banyak tugas yang merepotkan, itu berarti aku dipercayai dapat melakukannya.

Mendapatkan rekan kerja/bisnis yang mengesalkan menandakan karier/bisnis ku masih bergerak dan hidup.

Mendapatkan banyak komplain dari customer kita menandakan bahwa customer kita masih ada, masih loyal dan menginginkan kita menuju perubahan ke arah lebih baik.

Mendengar nyanyian suara yang fals, itu berarti aku bisa mendengar.

Mendengar bunyi jam alarm di pagi hari, itu berarti aku masih hidup.

Akhirnya banyak hal yang dapat kita syukuri setiap hari.

Berhenti mengeluh dan bersyukurlah. Bersyukur dalam setiap keadaan meski tak ada alasan untuk bersyukur sekalipun.

Repost ntah orang bijak darimana
Sejatinya kita punya waktu banyak untuk bersyukur. Untuk merenung. Saya pikir, tidak ada habisnya alasan untuk bersyukur selama kita masih hidup. Karena bernafas, berdetak, bergerak, melihat, mendengar, dan aktifnya milyaran sel ditubuh ini ada disetiap detik. Kurang apa lagi meen..

Lebih capek mana, mengeluh dengan berayukur? Sama sama berucap, sama sama kerjanya neuron motorik nervus tujuh, area broca wernicke daaan hati.

Pagi ini saya mengeluh kedinginan karena ac kereta. Kemarin saya mengeluh kepanasan karena ac kereta mati.

See..

Mau dikasih keinginan saya atau ndak, saya tetap ndak bersyukur.
Jadi bagaimana kalau sekarang dbalik,

mau dikasih keinginan saya atau ndak saya tetap bersyukur

Selamat pagi

Kita memang tidak pernah dituntut untuk menjadi perfect. Karena hanya satu orang yang mungkin bisa.

Tapi saya dengar, kita dituntut untuk menjadi "tidak apa adanya".

Menerima apa adanya membuat berhenti memperbaiki diri, membuat merasa tinggi hati.

Jadi jangan berpuas diri ya cin, selalu bisa lebih baik setiap harinya :)

Jangan lupa tetap bersyukur setiap menit setiap detik tidak ada habisnya nikmat yang diberikan. Berlipat lipat betapa baiknya sang penyayang :)

Seorang murid bertanya,
"Dokter tahu terlalu banyak, dokter tidak takut dibunuh?"

" Cukuplah allah bagiku"

             dr abdul mun'im idris, SpF

Saya kagum sekali dngan beliau, benar tetap berkata benar. Meskipun bisa saja menyembunyikan, meskipun banyak yg menawarkan "kemewahan".

Semoga selalu ada tempat terbaik untuk orang terbaik.

Selamat jalan dokter, smoga bisa meneruskan pengabdian dan prinsip" dokter dimanapun departemen yang saya ambil nanti.

" semoga jatuh cinta saya terakhir cuma buat suami saya"

Salah satu karunia terbesar adalah iman. Be grateful..

sudah berapa lama menjadi muslim? Sudahkah bersungguh sungguh menjadi muslim yang taat? # pertanyaan buat saya

Karena kita tidak akan tau sampe kapan iman masih melekat :)

Randomly,

Bener juga Kata bang tere, galau itu sesuatu yang dilebih lebihkan, didramatisir.

Harusnya cukup mengadu kepada yang punya hati kan, sedih, berdoalah niscaya akan tenang.

Kenapa harus macam macam dikasih soundtrack pula. Dikasih background hujan.

Back to allah, everything is clear. ILY

#edisi G

Baru baru ini saya jadi sering di rumah sakit, bukan sebagai subjek tapi sebagai objek. Saya jadi tau rasanya menunggu, sambil berfikir, khawatir dan cemas bagaimana nasib keluarga saya yang terbaring di situ.

Harus tidur dengan kamar seadanya, g peduli makan kapan,  yang  penting gimana caranya keluarga saya sembuh.

Saya malu, kadang sering ngeluh ini itu di rumah sakit saat saya menjadi subjek, seenak umbilicus nya aja ngeluh ngeluh ndak tau tempat, seolah olah yang paling susah. Sadar to nduk, sadar.

Inget, setidaknya bukan kamu atau keluargamu. Yang pernah merasakan, jadikan itu sebagai bekal kalau kamu harus bener bener sungguh-sungguh, update rasa itu penting :) #iklan mie sedap

" jangan sedih. Tinggal beberapa hari. Tinggal mencari jalan yang terang."

"Simbah pengen lebaran di rumah."

Tepat seminggu yang lalu, di saat saat sadarnya beliau berpamitan ke "nyonyanya". Mungkin beliau memberikan cukup waktu untuk hati, bersiap siap untuk menata ikhlas. Dua hari sebelum lebaran, saat ikhlas itu tak sadar datang, beliau dan penciptanya tau, inilah saatnya. Didepan semua anaknya, beliau berpamitan dan menenangkan semua akan baik baik saja. Allah lebih sayang simbah kakung dan yakin kasih sayangnya melebihi apa yang kita punya. Allah lebih tau tempat paling nyaman buat simbah. Baik baik di sana ya mbah, pada saatnya kita semua akan menyusul.

Maut kadang tak akan berpamitan, dan datang kapanpun allah menghendakinya. Kita punya banyak list rencana ke depan, jangan lupa, kematian adalah list yang pertama. Kita punya banyak list cara mencapai rencana itu, jangan lupa, persiapan kita menghadapi kematian adalah mulai sekarang.

Hari ke 29 ramadhan

Katanya orang, hidup itu pilihan.
Kata orang, kebebasan ngomong dan berfikir sedang diagung aguungkan hak nya..

Pilihan datang, karena allah itu maha adil, menciptakan lengkap berpasang pasangn dan peristiwa yang juga berpasang pasangan.

Sedih senang. Susah lapang. Ringan berat.

Alangkah bahagia kalau pikiran yang kita ciptakan selalu berbaik sangka, g banyak ngeluh..

Pasti tenang, pasrah dan ikhlas.

Semoga bisa begitu :)

#random sebelum stase bedah, fun and happy coass